


neil sort of feels like shit

by electrosad



Category: Scott Pilgrim (Comics), Scott Pilgrim - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Late Night Conversations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:34:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25894471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/electrosad/pseuds/electrosad
Summary: neil wishes his friends were around more often.
Relationships: Young Neil Nordegraf & Stephen Stills
Comments: 6
Kudos: 16





	neil sort of feels like shit

Neil misses Knives sometimes. It kinda hurts that Knives just dated him to get back at Scott. He gets it,though. Sometimes someone needs a rebound. And sometimes that someone is someone who you can still be friends with after the rebounding because she's nice.Neil sighed and put down his 3DS. He couldn't focus on it thinking about her anyways. He shoved his face into his pillow for a solid ten seconds before realizing it's too hard to breathe with your face shoved in fabric and then elected to stare at the ceiling. He wished he felt tired. 

Neil kind of hated being left all the time. It hurt after a bit. Knives dates him as a rebound, his favorite band doesn't work together anymore and now they barely hang around him anymore. Neil misses hanging out with his friends. He sees Stephen- they live together,so it's not like he could avoid Neil if he wanted to. He doesn't think Stephen wants to avoid him,even if he does.

He hopes not. They're friends. He hopes. He's busy. 

Kim visits sometimes. Not often. Not to see him.   
Scott didn't really visit anyone,as far as Neil knows. Not consistently. He comes,he goes,you might see him. Scott wasn't ever consistent. 

He sighs. He misses band practice and shit. Being someones one and only- or,two and almost only after a while- fan was nice. Knives being there was fine too,but then everything got fucked up. 

Knives texted him a lot. More than anyone else,at least. He liked that. He wanted to text her now,but it was late and she was probably asleep and when she woke up she'd be asking why he was up so late. She didn't really leave him,they were just friends now. She was a good friend. He didn't really know how nerds like him and Scott scored a girl like her. Well,he didn't really score her,considering he was a rebound,but still. That one week or so was lucky. Not much else was. She was nice,but it was sucky of her to use him to get back at Scott. He isn't angry about that anymore. Mostly.

Neil swinged his legs over the side of the bed and checked his clock. Jesus. Four am. He needed to sleep. He wasn't gonna,but he should. What he was gonna do was go...eat? And then probably sit in the kitchen for an hour and zone out. And then pass out for a really long time. Yeah. Good plan.

He stretched,his back popping like a glow stick. His back was so fucked. And so were his hands. He walked to the kitchen, rolling his wrists. Crack,crack,crack-

"Neil?" Stephen was at the table,eating pasta,looking like he was half asleep. Nothing new there. "Why are you in here?"

"Hungry. Food. Duh." He popped his shoulders again,almost slamming open the fridge. 

"I mean,duh,but still. It's really late,don't you have school? It isn't the weekend or anything." He shoved a bite of pasta into his mouth. 

"In theory I have school. I'm not going. 'M gonna...eat. And then smoke,and pass out until two or something." He grabs a bag of pepperoni and throws it onto the counter. 

"You aren't going? You gotta go,it's. ..it's school,man. It's important and shit." Neil rolls his eyes. He sounds like his mom. "I thought you were trying to do better." 

"Better?" He grabs a can of coke,kicks the fridge door shut and sits on the counter."There's nothing bad I need to be better about. It's one day,I'm not gonna fail because of it,dude." He crams pepperoni in his mouth. 

"I'm not saying you're doing bad,I just thought you were trying to stop smoking. And it's one day,but how many times are you gonna say that,man? It's the second time."

"In a month." Neil brings his legs onto the counter. "I am trying to stop,it just isn't fucking easy, that isn't how it works. And one day isn't gonna ruin me,I'll catch up. I don't have anything to do other than school anyways. Since everyone and you started ignoring me." He puts more malice in that last sentence than he meant. 

"I'm not ignoring you! I'm just busy lately." He points his fork at Neil. "We've both been busy. You're supposed to be studying and shit,and I have my music. It's serious now."

"You've always had your music and I've been in school! We still used to hang out." He didn't mean to start an argument,but it seemed a bit late to back down now. He opened his coke and stared at the floor. Maybe he did want an argument. Stephen was being a fucking dick.

"Band practice was different! We were all just...hanging out. Didn't have to plan ahead or anything."  
He sighed and put his face in his hands. "I'm not...trying to ignore you, okay? I've just been busy. You're one of my best friends,I'm not trying to blow you off.." 

"...Yeah,yeah. I get it,whatever,I'm just mad. I'm probably being stupid. You all just stopped hanging out with me. You all did your own shit and left me out. Made me feel like shit,man!"

He got quieter. "I just want friends again." 

"Hey,Neil,you-...you still have friends. I'm your friend." 

Neil sniffed and put his face down on his knees.

"Oh- shit. Don't cry. Are you- you're about to cry." 

"No shit,Stephen." His voice broke. Stephen pushed his chair out and stood next to Neil.

"Don't-..." He reached his arm around Neil's neck. "I'm still your friend,okay? You're still my friend." Neil turned his head to look at Stephen.

"...Can we just hang out sometime? I miss you,asshole."

"Of course we can." He stared for a second. "I didn't know you felt...that bad about it. I'm sorry. Really wasn't trying to ignore you,I'm just...tired. All the time."

"...I know. You're always tired. I shouldn't have went off on you. You did make me feel like shit,but I should have...I don't know. Told you. And not started smoking. Sorry for being stupid and mean about it." 

"It's all good...You should still sleep though." Stephen grabbed the bag of pepperoni. "Were you just going to eat a bag of this and nothing else?" 

Neil laughed. "Yeah. Tasty. Scott told me he used to do it." He rubbed his eyes. "I still won't be able to go to school tomorrow. Too late for me to go and not pass out mid-lecture. I'll go the next day,though." He jumped off the counter and headed back for his room. "Night."

"Good night." Stephen yawns. "I'll make plans or something,I promise,dude."

Neil grumbled out something vaguely an 'okay.' He flopped into bed,still not really tired but a bit more at peace.

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote 90 percent of this at like 1-4 am hope u enjoyed it <3 it is 5 am


End file.
